COUNSELOR'S CORNER: The power of teamwork and love

I watched the U.S. Women’s Soccer team defeat the Netherlands. This is four soccer titles for the Women’s Soccer team. It was a most inspiring and well played game. Such fantastic effort and such amazing teamwork. This team was so dedicated and connected with one another. There were no ego’s that got in the way. Each person’s expertise was appreciated and respected. It was evident how deeply dedicated these women players were and how deeply they loved and respected one another. It made me proud to be an American and so proud of this team.

If only our government could learn from thesåe women soccer players the principles of teamwork and love, we could make the whole world a much more loving and peaceful planet.

Teamwork and love bring us all together. Every human being and every country desires care, compassion and connection with other people. When the world is filled with care, compassion and connections, everyone benefits. When leaders lack care, compassion and connections with other people, an emotional disease begins to spread throughout the world. This emotional disease originates from putting myself first and others second. This great soccer team of dedicated women did not have this emotional disease of self-centeredness. They were for one another and worked together in a loving and dedicated manner for a common goal. And they won!

Whenever leaders, be it presidents, leaders of countries, kings, queens, and coaches, put their own egos before the welfare of others, this emotional disease of blaming others and controlling others through criticism and intimidation starts invading the psyches of a nation and even of the world. If you keep putting me down, I will start putting you down. If you keep showing me love and kindness, I will start showing you love and kindness.

In the thirteenth century, there was much corruption in nations and in the established Church. A young rich man, Francis of Assisi, a wounded soldier, was put in prison for over a year. He began to change his way of life and spent the rest of his life living simply and showing love and compassion for everyone. So many people followed him that he became one of the most loved persons of his century. Thus, the birth of the Franciscan Order, known as peacemakers, who show care and compassion toward everyone and treat all of nature in a loving and sacred way. Francis of Assisi was a peacemaker, a brother to everyone and the first dedicated ecologist. Without criticizing, he became a positive example in the 13th century of care, compassion and connection with everyone and everything.

I become disturbed when I read on Facebook the negative and hateful messages that are written. It can be very disturbing to listen to negativity and condemnations. I want to respond back in the same manner which would be totally wrong. People and the world will only be changed by an abundance of care, compassion and connections for and with other people. This abundance of care, compassion and connection with other people creates a sense of teamwork and love which inspires people to work together for the accomplishment of a goal that will make us all better.

Watching the United States Soccer team accomplish a common goal with teamwork and love fortified by care, compassion and connection with each other, inspired me profoundly. Now I must make sure that I do the same in showing care, compassion and connection with everyone I meet, see and experience today.

This past week my wife and I spent a few days in Frankenmuth with our daughters and six grandchildren. At the hotel we stayed at, there was a woman who took care of everyone who had breakfast at the hotel. Her kindness, dedication and helpfulness inspired me deeply. She always had a smile on her face, did her work so lovingly and gracefully, and was so dedicated to serving others. She also exemplified care, compassion and connections with other people.

Watching our six grandchildren interact with each other with care, compassion and connections with one another was another example of the power of love.

Then watching our two daughters and son-in-law interact with their loving children told me that love is always in the air. And watching Grandma so lovingly interact with her grandchildren and her daughters and son in law just made Love so alive and energized. We must make the effort to embrace care, compassion and connections with others. Those who do this leave selfishness behind and bring goodness to other people. And the world gets better.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and psychotherapist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan he is also on staff at Capuchin Retreat Center in Washington, MI. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com.