I just finished attending a retreat this last weekend. For two and a half days I was with a group of men, 93 in all, who took time to look at life in a deeper manner. It was most inspiring. On Saturday evening there was a healing service that was very powerful and healing. Fr. Patrick, the director of the Passionist Retreat Center in Detroit, conducted this powerful service. In it he had us quietly reflect on memories of the past, both painful and joyful ones. During this quiet reflection in this holy chapel which seemed filled with a sense of God and God's love, about eighty men seemed to experience a healing through this powerful reflective meditation.
Each of us have wounds inside our psyche. Often these wounds can be pushed away and ignored. When we do this, we also push away the good memories we have which have become attached to the painful memories. It takes silent reflection to go deeper within ourselves and allow our wounds to be experienced. In this experience, we begin to heal. We will experience an inner peace. Joyful memories can surface also. The statement "you can't heal what you can't feel" became so meaningful to me and to many others during this inspiring service on Saturday evening.
I became more convinced during this sacred time, which Fr. Pat so gently and expertly directed, that quiet time with God in meditation helps us to embrace our wounds and puts us in an environment to be healed. The gentle embrace and experience of wounds bring a person into the gentle embrace and experience of an unconditional, loving God. When I am stifling or blocking my wounds, I am not free to experience peace and joy. This repression can be very damaging. Wisely, during this healing service, we were told at the end as we walked up to the altar, to pray over the man behind us by laying our hands on this head and then giving each other a hug. It was a powerful reminder that we are all on this journey of life together and need to reach out to one another.
I have conducted a number of retreats. But this weekend I was a participant. It was powerful for me. The healing service was a combination of openness to God, to self and to others. It symbolized how to live a healthy life.
When I take enough quiet time each day to open up to God, I will be opening up to the deeper parts of myself. This experience becomes very healing.
Retreats and quiet times remind a person not to rush through life or rush through any day. It is all about reflection and openness to God, self, and others. Life is not how much we get done each day. Life is how well we love each day. Life is not how busy I am. Life is how quiet and reflective I can be. Life is not being worried about how others think of me. Life is about how well I treat others. Love keeps life simple and profound at the same time. Quiet reflection and meditation keep me grounded and uplifted at the same time.
This past weekend was a very uplifting experience for me. It pushed me into a deeper experience of what I have often written about and talked about for many years. It was a privilege to be with ninety men from all walks of life who could share their journey through life with each other.
None of us are victims to what has happened to us in life. We are all volunteers to deal with our wounds so we can heal and enter into a deeper experience of life which means having a positive experience of God, others and self. But I must allow myself to experience my wounds so I can live this deeper joyful life. Spiritual and emotional growth happens when I take the leap to believe that God is always with me even in the midst of pain and suffering. Many times, this leap of faith begins with a leap into my own wounds and by embracing this pain and this wound, I will experience a loving, caring God who is always here to help me and heal me. I must stay in my heart so my head will follow. If I start with my head I will not get far because I will analyze things instead of feel what needs to embraced. I must embrace my wounded self. In quiet time with God, this will happen and I will be experiencing the peace and tranquility of God.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
Published: Tue, Feb 04, 2020
