COUNSELOR'S CORNER: Compassion and selfishness in the midst of a pandemic

We are in the midst of a deadly pandemic. Scientific evidence tells us to wear masks and keep a six-foot distance from each other. Yet many people refuse to do this. Some people think wearing masks and keeping a social six foot distance is an infringement on their personal freedom. So painful to see this. It is such an unconscious selfish attitude about freedom.

In the midst of a spreading pandemic, we absolutely need more compassion for others. To be selfless is to realize that I do not exist in this world alone. I must be concerned about other people. This is why I wear a mask and keep a social distance. It is why I bring love to others by kind and compassionate words and actions.

Politicians certainly are not Saints. I am not a Saint and you are not a Saint. If we think we are, then certainly we are not Saints because humility goes out the window when I start thinking I am the holy one. But each of us can improve on being more compassionate and caring towards others.

When the world is dominated by selfishness, compassion departs. Individual freedom must always be connected with care and compassion for others. We obey stop signs to be safe and to save the lives of other people. We wear seat belts to protect our own life. Rules made by the government for car seats for babies are for protecting children with care and compassion.

I am amazed and inspired how many rules we have built into our government that have been made so we can help and protect one another. Sports have rules to protect other people. We have rules for what foods we can eat and what ingredients can be put into foods and what cannot. Rules are for the purpose of helping care for one another. I am not in this life alone. I must always be aware of being caring toward others.

Yet in this culture, care and compassion for others is being so challenged and so minimized by leaders of our Country and by leaders of our States. Because of our failure as a nation to have a national mandate on wearing masks and keeping a social distance, hospitals are overcrowded, health care workers are overworked and many people die who did not have to die. I suspect if all of us wore masks and kept a social distance, no businesses would have to shut down.

It is amazing what can happen to a country when care and compassion for other people is neglected.

This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be different than ever before. But it will be different because we will be showing love and compassion for one another in different ways. Gatherings may be small but compassion will be huge. Masks and social distancing will be worn seriously because we will love one another and have compassion for one another.

I am inspired by all those who seriously wear masks and keep a social distance. It is like LOVE IS IN THE AIR. But I become very disappointed by those who do not take this seriously. Then SELFISHNESS and NARCISSISM is in the air. When a nation, a state, a town, a family, a church is dominated by SELFISHNESS AND NARCISSISM, conflict will surface and tension will be in the air.

Compassion and care for others disarms the world and makes the world safe and caring. I will disarm you when I disarm myself with care and compassion for you. This pandemic can bring out the best in us because it is reminding us of how closely connected we are with each other and how interdependent we are on one another. But if I choose not to be caring and compassionate then the worst of me will surface and I will be miserable and will make others around me miserable.

I am deeply inspired by what I see on television with the example of so many people wearing masks. Sometimes the media becomes profound examples of care and compassion and gives us positive examples of care and compassion. Of course, many times the opposite can happen but in this world of a pandemic crisis we all need to be reminded of the importance of care and compassion for one another.

My own ego must not get in the way of bringing you more love and compassion. This pandemic has helped me become more aware of how I must be loving and compassionate toward you. Sometimes I think the safest and most compassionate place to be is in a Doctor’s office where everyone takes this so seriously. The HIPPOCRATIC OATH for physicians of DO NO HARM is so accurate and so important. Life is always meant to be DO NO HARM. It is always meant to be an environment of bringing love and compassion to one another.

I may not be able to get the leaders of my country to live by the principle of DO NO HARM. However, I can make my own life be one of care and compassion for others and to live by the principle of DO NO HARM. Care and compassion for others must be my first priority in life. It is what allows us to discover peace and happiness.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.