Negative people weaken a culture. Loving people strengthen a culture.
When I judge and condemn another person in my thoughts, I put myself in an emotional prison which shuts out the Light of being positive and loving.
When I am loving and kind in my inner attitude and in my words and actions, I help another person become their better self and I become my better self. If people in political and legal authority realized this, the world would become more loving and positive.
I remember my life as a child. My Father and Uncle owned a small supper club in Northern Wisconsin, a block from Upper Michigan. It was called CAVI's CRYSTAL BAR. Both my father and his one sibling, my Uncle Bill, were two of the warmest, kindest men you could ever meet. People would flock to this little supper club and bar because they always felt so welcomed. I remember so vividly how my Dad and Uncle treated people. It is amazing how these positive and loving memories surface so vividly. Love has almost an eternal positive effect on people. Never did I ever see or experience Dad or Uncle Bill say anything negative or condemning about other people. They even had a political gathering for Robert Kennedy who was campaigning for his brother, John F Kennedy. My Uncle was Republican and my Dad was Democratic. Two brothers always got along and worked well together. Politics never got in the way of being kind and loving to each other and to other people.
When a person looks over their life history, the loving people stand out and those memories are so precious and good.
Negativity weakens. Positivity strengthens. Criticizing others and condemning others weakens the human spirit. Loving and praising and looking for goodness in others strengthens the human spirit. When political viewpoints attack the characters of other people, everyone becomes weaker.
Life is meant to be lived with goodness and love. I would rather suffer from being too good and kind to other people than suffer from being too condemning and angry with other people. I do not want to be remembered as a critical and negative person. I want my kids and grandkids to remember me as a Dad and Grandpa who was always loving and affirming. The legacy I want to leave with people is Love.
The more I try and tell someone else how they should be, the more people will feel offended and want to remain distant from me. People do not want someone to try and convert them. But when another person experiences me as being loving and affirming, they can become curious as to how I have a loving and positive attitude. I do not have to tell other people how to live emotionally and spiritually if they don't ask me. But if someone asks me because they have felt loved and affirmed by me, I can simply share my journey with them.
In my Dad's and Uncle's Bar in Northern Wisconsin, Sunday mornings were filled with customers. In Wisconsin in those days, you could open early on Sundays. Why were so many people coming to the bar on Sunday morning? I am sure that some came because they were in a chronic stage of alcoholism. But I think many came because they felt so loved and connected and enjoyed sharing with others on a personal level.
Maybe this is what life should be all about: loving one another and sharing our personal journey through life with each other. This is what makes religion strong and healthy. It is what makes politics strong and healthy and it is what makes families strong and healthy. I think that when religion, politics, and community gatherings invest in condemning people, everyone suffers.
Love strengthens people. Negativity weakens people. Loving and positive words uplift people. Angry and condemning words depress people.
In that little bar so many years ago, people would flock to feel uplifted. It became a refuge for many people to hear positive and kind words.
It doesn't have to be in a tavern, bar, church, community gathering or political gathering that uplifts us. But in these gatherings, when people do feel uplifted, good things begin to happen. I want to always be someone who uplifts people. The more I can create an uplifting attitude with someone else, the better both of us become.
Negativity weakens people. Love uplifts people. I have so many memories of my Uncle and My Dad uplifting me and everyone in their presence. I also have so many memories of people in my life who have been loving and uplifting.
Everyone in life has a desire to be loved. The more loving person wants to be loved. The most unloving person wants to be loved. It is a universal desire that every human being shares. We have pets to feel loved by them and they desire to feel loved by us. It is such a simple and such a profound thought: Love More and you will experience more uplifting feelings. Never invest in negative thinking and negative actions or words. It is a totally bad investment. Invest in Love and you will discover an inner peace and joy. I think that a consistent investment in Love brings us into a deeper union with a Loving God no matter if you belong to a religious denomination or not. Invest in Love and you will experience God who is always loving you.
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Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and limited licensed psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Michigan. Cavaiani is associate editor and contributing writer for Human Development Magazine. His column in the Legal News runs every other Tuesday. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is FredsCounselorsCorner.com.
