By John F. Sase
assisted by
Gerard J. Senick, chief editor
Julie G. Sase, copyeditor
William A. Gross, researcher
Two months ago, we started this journey in the Art and Craft of writing in the fields of Law and Economics. This process includes organization of material and ideas, clear and accurate sentence structure; correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar; and a lot of hard-but valuable-work.
This month, we address tools, techniques, and fluency, hints for revision that include keeping the writing focused, clear, and interesting. In addition, we will discuss presentation, coherency, and rhythm; reading aloud; and fixing the broken pieces. Looking deeper, we will cover the habits that erode the previously accepted standards of a correct and meticulously edited written work.
Almost any attorney or staffer can develop the skill to write well, or at least better. Often, the traditional rules of writing can help. However, the continuation of deficient writing habits can keep emerging practitioners from perfecting their skills.
Keep It Short and Simple
The first objective in writing any document is to Keep It Short and Simple. With practice, professionals in any field can trim their initial drafts by more than one-fourth. Trimming means that the writer may need to start with fourteen or fifteen pages in order to draft a legal brief of ten. The process of writing resembles the work of baking, carving, and other crafts-focus, ability, and discipline must occur in order to achieve the desired quality.
As with music, painting, or any other art, competent writers naturally reflect their individual spirit and mood within their work. This reflection remains an important point to remember when authoring persuasive legal documents. Therefore, writing that sells an idea needs to possess the greatest clarity. In doing so, effective writers reach a level of clarification such that their readers may comprehend easily what the authors intend. These readers will do so in a way that they cannot mistake the intent of the writer. Remember: for all types of documents, readers are sovereign.
Passive vs. Active Verbs
Rather than lulling readers to sleep through continuous use of passive verbs, persuasive writing in the fields of Law and Economics benefits from the use of active verbs. As for verbs, many writers overuse forms of the passive verb "to be-am, are, is." A writer should think of these words as one would think of an equal sign in math. If A equals B, then A is B. Likewise, if A and B equal C, then A and B are C. Such cases represent the best usage of the verb "to be."
Excessive Use of Adjectives and Adverbs
Less-experienced writers compose with flurries of adjectives and adverbs, a practice that leads to time-costly rewrites because superfluous words get scratched out first. A good piece of writing uses words to describe a scene without any unnecessary addition of adverbs or adjectives. When writers pour them in into the mix, it may indicate either lazy writing or the need to plug a story with additional words in order to increase the required word count.
Nouns and Verbs
The process of Revision leaves the remaining emphasis to nouns and verbs. With nouns, the major task remains checking pronoun reference for clarity. Novice or stale writers apparently use words that more proficient writers avoid. For example, in Law and Economics, professionals overuse "basically," "concept," "critique," "data (pl.)," "factor," "finalize," "hypothesize," "individuals," "interesting," "intra/inter," "obviously," "overall," "process," "respectively," "thus," and "via" as well as phrases such as "and/or," "for the convenience of," "in terms of," "the existence of," "time frame," "the reason was due to," etc. These lists extend on and onward.
In writing for any forensic purpose, concrete word structure continues to rule-therefore, let us concretize! In so doing, we note that:
1) Singular words trump plurals
2) Definite words are more concrete than general ones (because abstract terms morph into codes that readers must translate)
3) It remains easier to raise concrete terms "upward toward abstraction" than "downward to concretion"
4) When writing within Law, Economics, and many other exacting fields, plain words remain better than fancier ones to help us to make the point. Unfortunately, the practice of using fifty-cent words has taken its toll on American writing since the days of Mark Twain (to whom the periodicals for which he wrote paid him not only for the number of words but for the length of the words as well). A higher watermark came during the 1960s with the misuse of older terms such as "antidisestablishmentarianism," a word that meant opposition to the withdrawal of state support or recognition from the Church of England. Though such words may serve as single, precise ones for complex concepts, clear, direct English suits us best for sound communication with wider audiences, such as a jury.
As writers in various professions, we strive to avoid the typographical smoke and mirrors of acronyms-the alphabet soup of the written word. For example, an excessive number of such terms float repeatedly within the Beltway of Washington, D.C. Nevertheless, when facing a word or phrase intended for repetition, one can create and parenthesize an acronym for use after its first appearance. The use of one or two different acronyms within a few pages may save the reader from a plethoric repetition of long-winded terms. Furthermore, a stewed mixture of similar acronyms that switch back and forth may baffle most readers beyond the small party of cooks. Due to this problem, most readers may tend to devote excessive time to decoding rather than to following what the writer has attempted to communicate.
The Department of Redundancy Department
The title of this section comes from the Firesign Theatre, an innovative American comedy troupe that included a sketch on this subject on their album "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers" (Columbia Records, 1970).
Formal English language that continues to survive in courtrooms has developed as an amalgamation of terms and phrases from Greek, Latin and other ancient languages within our global society. Therefore, we may need to look carefully at the words that we choose to include in our documents. Attorneys, Economists, and other professional writers often forget the meaning of "borrowed" words and phrases. Forgetfulness tends to lead to redundancy. For example, the popular French word soiree means a party or function held in the evening. If we write, "We will attend the soiree this evening," are we not saying, "We will attend the evening party this evening?" Therefore, let us avoid the redundancy of redundancy as developed by the Office of Redundancy in Sector R (see Federal Government HR and Management News and Insight, The Office of Redundancy Office, 12 November 2014, chiefhro.com/2014/11/12/ the-office-of-redundancy-office).
Whenever using a metaphor, one should ask "What is the 'meta' 'for?'" Legalese, Economese, and other "obscure dialects" continue to bring back dead metaphors as a soiree of zombies. Overused dead metaphors in formal documents include "to grasp a concept" and "to gather what you have understood." Both of these examples employ physical actions to serve as metaphors in order to assist us in understanding ideas. As poetic as it may seem, most readers cannot visualize what emanates from concrete actions applied to abstract terms. Therefore, these "dead metaphors" tend to go unnoticed.
Major Rules of Revision
Some elements of writing remain fixed while others float. However, the significant rules that guide Revision include:
1) Do not break the flow of a sentence with parenthetical material or an internal clause
2) Emphasize the point of your sentence at the end
3) Listen for sentences that sound monotonously long, abruptly short, or carry extra baggage at the end
With these rules in mind, we also need to avoid splitting infinitives and misplacing adverbs and other words that modify a verb or a noun. Switch the order of words and phrases until the sentence sounds right to the ears.
Though mentioned previously in this series, one point remains worthwhile to repeat: Writing is meant to be heard. Reading aloud to another person with a critical ear makes the read a powerful editing tool. Writers have the chance to listen to their words as closely as possible as another listener would hear their thoughts. As writers develop responsive ears, they will hear the rough spots while feeling the rhythm. The technique of reading the final draft aloud helps forensic writers to make it through the final furlong of their journey in preparing a valuable document for Court.
Takeaway and Closure
We hope that you have found these suggestions for professional writing not only interesting but time- and money-saving within your firm. Reflecting upon the words of Cervantes, with which we started this month's column, we can assume that the staffs of Law offices, which draw up papers, have improved over the past five centuries.
In closing, the tools discussed above provide attorneys and other professionals with a guide to developing the quality and effectiveness of both their writing and that of their staffs. Hopefully, our suggestions will help professionals to improve their persuasiveness and to increase the positive results from their writing. In turn, this will help to place their firms ahead of the competition. Will implementation of these ideas help attorneys to win more cases? We cannot say. However, producing higher-quality documents certainly will not hurt the probability of success. The bottom line from implementing a system of managing, writing, and editing documents for the Court is that we expect this approach to benefit attorneys and related professionals, both in the short run and in the long run. So, let the writing and revising begin. Huzzah!
(Please feel free to copy and share with those in your office.)
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Dr. John F. Sase teaches Economics at Wayne State University and has practiced Forensic and Investigative Economics for twenty years. He earned a combined M.A. in Economics and an MBA at the University of Detroit, followed by a Ph.D. in Economics from Wayne State University. He is a graduate of the University of Detroit Jesuit High School (www.saseassociates.com).
Gerard J. Senick is a freelance writer, editor, and musician. He earned his degree in English at the University of Detroit and was a supervisory editor at Gale Research Company (now Cengage) for over twenty years. Currently, he edits books for publication (www.senick-editing.com).
Julie G. Sase is a copyeditor, parent coach, and empath. She earned her degree in English at Marygrove College and her graduate certificate in Parent Coaching from Seattle Pacific University. Ms. Sase coaches clients, writes articles, and edits copy (royaloakparentcoaching.com).
