Fred Cavaiani
The Olympics always inspire me. Young athletes train for years to compete, win a medal and be recognized as the best in their profession. Everything in life becomes secondary to achieving the goal of being on the Olympic team. Once this goal is accomplished everything becomes secondary to achieving a medal, gold, silver or bronze. Years of intense physical training are the norm. Skaters become skating rink fixtures for years. Intense physical training for skaters, skiers, snow boarders, sledders, and hockey players is what fascinate us as we watch the Winter Olympics. The dedication and graceful coordination of these athletes have profoundly inspired me every four years. The world becomes mesmerized with these dedicated and idealistic athletes. And these athletes are not doing this for the money. Money may come to some later but money certainly is not the main motivator for any of these athletes. It is the joy of becoming the best at their sport that motivates them. It is like the little chugging train that says “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” in the children’s story book of “The Little Engine That Could.” This dedication to the goal tugs at our hearts. It inspires us. We see the results, the successes and failures. It hurts to watch those who make mistakes in the final competition. We rejoice with those who succeed. But what we all realize is that these athletes all have one quality in common — absolute dedication to a goal that is precious and meaningful to them.
This Olympic dedication to a goal is something everyone could use in life. Most of us at some point in life think of goals for ourselves. But we can get foggy and vague in what those goals might be. When this happens it is easy to get a bit lost on the journey through life. Olympic athletes first learn the fundamentals of their sport. Then they perfect those fundamentals so they can succeed in their chosen sport in an exemplary manner. It is a simple formula: 1) Learn the fundamentals. 2) Perfect the fundamentals 3) reach for new depths and 4) keep at it constantly and persistently. These four fundamental principles bring athletes to higher horizons and amazing adventures in the sacred sport they have chosen. Every effort to become better causes the athlete to experience a deeper depth of living and succeeding.
Maybe we can all learn from the Olympic athletes. Life is meant to be lived with dedication, freedom and depth. Each moment of life is to be experienced fully with attentive awareness and respectful receptivity. When I become aware of what life is really about, I can lighten my journey through life to the absolute essentials. This is what dedicated athletes do — lighten their journey so they can focus on the goal. This is another powerful principle — lighten the weight so the journey is smooth.
What is the purpose of your life? How do you want to live the rest of your life? Are you a spiritual or a religious person? What is your philosophy or theology of life? How do you wish to feel physically for the rest of your life?
People who want to feel physically fit set physical fitness as a priority — consistent exercise on a daily basis. People who want to be spiritually fit set spirituality as a priority — consistent daily meditation. People who want to be emotionally fit set emotional health as a priority on a daily basis; consistently embracing the feelings that surface and not running from the emotional pain or joy. People who want to feel religiously fit set a sense of belonging to church community as a priority and listening humbly to what they learn from their particular denomination.
Yet there is something that everyone needs to make sure physical, emotional, spiritual, and religious fitness happens. It is what the successful Olympians seem to all have: a sense of humility and a sense of willingness to learn from others. Humility means that I do not see myself as better than others but as someone who can learn from others to be my best self. My best self may not always bring a medal but it will bring amazing peace and amazing success because I know how to stay with a goal and deepen that goal by consistency in my daily actions of healthy living.
The people in my life that have inspired me the most are those who do the basics in life so very well. I have listened and observed many people from all different professions and different states of life. In each of these professions and states of life there are those who practice the fundamentals persistently and constantly. This persistence and constancy seem to develop a quality that is most endearing — a sense of compassion and humility and honesty that radiates a positive attitude about life. These qualities become encased in humble and kind people who just keep going forward consistently with loving depth which arises out of their dedication to the priorities of life.
I remember an older couple, married for 62 years saying, “I come to this program because I can always learn something new.” I remember observing a simple Capuchin brother so often humbly kneeling in chapel with bowed head and everytime I would see him he would humbly smile and greet me with a warm hello. I remember an old professor whom I respected so very much greeting me many years later with warmth and absolute kindness. I have close friends who seem to rejoice with twinkling eyes every time we see each other. There are so many examples I can think of about people who seem to me to be Olympians in how they live life. I will listen to all much more carefully and learn from them as I learn from our Olympian athletes.
—————
Fred Cavaiani is a licensed marriage & family therapist and psychologist with a private practice in Troy. He is the founder of Marriage Growth Center, a consultant for the Detroit Medical Center, and Henry Ford Medical Center. He conducts numerous programs for groups throughout Southeastern Michigan. His column in the Legal News runs every other week. He can be reached at 248-362-3340. His e-mail address is: Fredcavi@yahoo.com and his website is fredthecounselor.com.
