Charles Kramer, The Levison Group
Welcome once again to “December Shout Out,” that fun loving day in which we at the Levison Group pay particular attention to the legal trappings of one of our nation’s fine states. This year’s shout out goes to our friends in the state of Michigan, who are forced to live with some of the more interesting laws of our nation.
As we take a brief look at some of the legal pitfalls that could await the unwary visitor to the land of the Wolverines, keep in mind that you can find interesting ordinances or laws in virtually any city or state if you look hard enough.
Several Michigan laws that may appear strange to us today are simply outliers that remain from days gone by, and are actually similar to laws that are still on the books in other states. For example, technically you still can’t’ sell a car on Sunday, and a woman theoretically can’t cut her hair without her husband’s permission. Others, however, may make you wonder as to what events caused the legislature to leap into action. The prohibition against using a decompression chamber to kill a dog is one head scratcher that conjures up images I’d rather simply not have inside my brain. Other laws of the Apple Blossom State are just downright unfortunate --- like the law that says a passenger on a train cannot get drunk. Isn’t the main reason people let others take them places in the first place is so that they can drink without risking life and limb behind the wheel? Not in Michigan, apparently (or not any more).
Not to be outdone by the State gurus, some city lawmakers within Michigan also set out to protect the innocent from harm within their borders. Detroit for example protects the innocent radio, forbidding its residents from destroying their radios, even if Ohio State beats Michigan, the governor says something really annoying, or the weatherman says “snow” for the tenth day in a row, and regardless of how poorly the Tigers or Lions play.
Yet perhaps the most interesting law enforcement dilemma may arise if the police chief of Harper Woods were to relocate to Rochester, Michigan, In Harper Woods, it is illegal to paint a sparrow to look like a parakeet. In Rochester, all bathing suits have to be inspected by the head of police.
Each year, Sports Illustrated publishes a special swimsuit issue, in which the magazine takes a break from sports reporting and instead features models in bathing suits. Some of the models however, don’t really wear bathing suits but instead are painted by “body artists” to look like they are wearing bathing suits. If the chief of police of Rochester were to investigate a bathing suit and discover, to his horror and chagrin, that it is merely body paint and no bathing suit at all, he would lose jurisdiction over the matter. There would be nothing illegal about the body painting expedition and there would be no bathing suit to inspect. Yet, if instead of painting a woman, the artist had painted a sparrow, it seems like he might have some explaining to do, at least in Harper Woods.
Now, that is one law that is for the birds.
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Under Analysis is a nationally syndicated column of the Levison Group. Charles Kramer is a principal of the St. Louis, Missouri law firm Riezman Berger PC. Comments or criticisms about this column may be sent to the Levison Group c/o this newspaper or to the Levison Group at comments@levisongroup.com.
© 2015 Under Analysis L.L.C.
