Missouri Lawyer finds confidence following gender change Attorney's transition went smoothly when it came to her professional life

By Jessica Shumaker The Daily Record Newswire ST. LOUIS - Madeline Johnson compares coming out as transgender to attempting to keep a beach ball underwater. "You can only hold it down there so long because you're eventually going to lose control of it and it's going to explode through the surface," the Kansas City attorney said. "I just couldn't hold the beach ball under the water anymore." From early on in her life, Johnson, 48, a senior partner of Edelman, Liesen & Myers, felt she was born into the wrong body. Johnson was born male, but she said she knew she was transgender from a young age. "I remember just about daily wishing I could just wake up as a girl," she said, noting in high school she was "desperately wanting to put on makeup, wear fun clothes and just be a girl (and) feeling like I couldn't do that." Johnson went on to complete bachelor's and master's degrees, marry, have children and go to law school as a man, settling into work as a public defender before starting a solo practice. After going through a divorce, Johnson came out and began the process in 2012 of transitioning to a woman. She said one of the first stories to resonate with her was that of tennis player Renee Richards, who sued the U.S. Tennis Association in the 1970s after being denied entry to compete for refusing to take a gender-verification test. Later in life, with the advent of the internet, Johnson had online access to stories of other transgender people. Each time she'd read something, she said she'd talk herself out of the idea of transitioning. "I'd always shut it down, push it away and decide that this was it, I was done with it," she said. But the idea wasn't done with her. Instead, her interest in transitioning became stronger. By early 2012, she said she was feeling depressed and couldn't figure out why. She said she hadn't yet reached a place where she could work through her thoughts on a spiritual level. Johnson said her Southern Baptist upbringing included a lot of judgment of the LGBT community. She said the decision to come out was part of "a very spiritual journey." "It took some deconstruction of my own beliefs, about myself and getting to a place where I finally felt like I was ready to look at myself and who I am because I didn't know who I was," she said. "There was so much about myself that I didn't know." A 'fairy tale' transition Johnson said her transition went smoothly when it came to her professional life. "I'd almost describe it as a fairy tale," she said. "It went very well. It was well received, it was almost no pushback." She said judges, other attorneys and her colleagues have been kind and accepting. Johnson admitted that she had feared the worst - that she would lose clients or that her relationships with judges and opposing counsel would be harmed. She didn't lose any clients and has seen an increase in her practice, the opposite of her fears. Part of that growth has been from the advantage of being a transgender attorney and getting that word out into the community, she said. Johnson said she is not aware of any other transgender attorneys in the state. Her practice now includes a focus on gender law, including the area of employment discrimination. She most enjoys handling name and gender identification change petitions for clients. She said being the first person to be able to congratulate them and use their new legal name is exciting and rewarding. "I've had clients just grab me and hug me and start crying, they're so happy," she said. "I get a little misty-eyed too, thinking about it, because it's a wonderful experience, a wonderful time to be able to share with my clients, to validate their identity." She said transitioning has helped her become a better lawyer, noting that her personal happiness has impacted everything. "I'm a lot more comfortable, which makes me a lot more effective, because I'm not fighting this inner battle with my own demons about my identity, about who I'm supposed to be and how I'm supposed to present to the world," she said. 'She just owned it' Lee's Summit attorney Melissa Posey filed Johnson's petition to change her name and gender marker. She recalled meeting Johnson prior to her transition, about five years ago when the two both worked in an office share. "He came in and was very quiet and I thought, 'God, this guy doesn't know what he's doing because he seems like he's unsure of himself,'" she said. Posey said after Johnson came out and transitioned, the difference in her behavior was "astounding." "(Anyone) that can walk into the Jackson County Courthouse in Independence and go through that process with all of these older attorneys and own it it was so impressive," Posey said. "I think that the biggest change was just the confidence in herself." Posey said that change makes a strong case for supporting transgender people in their transitions. "It's very compelling to see what happens when a person becomes who they were supposed to be," she said. Katherine Myers, a founding partner of Edelman, Liesen & Myers, said she met Johnson working on cases together. Johnson showed an interest in exploring employment law and she joined the firm in October 2014. Myers said the firm's partners felt Johnson was a good fit, with her practice in family law at the time and an interest in taking an advocacy role on issues the firm supports including LGBT cases. "I think she's very passionate about what she does," Myers said. "She takes her work seriously, especially with the issues that she's willing to litigate and we're willing to litigate and the causes we want to promote through our ability to practice law." Myers said the practice of law is more than just a job for Johnson - she also sees it as a way to advocate for change. "I'm excited to see how our firm progresses over the next few years with that set of skills in addition to what we have already been doing," Myers said. 'It's not all of me' In the last year, America's transgender community has increasingly been in the spotlight, from the public transition of Caitlyn Jenner to battles over bathroom-access legislation. Johnson said it's great that discussions are taking place on the subject of gender identity. "It's time we have this conversation," she said. She said her gender identity is just part of her life. She has a partner, she has hobbies and interests - she's a self-proclaimed 'fantasy nerd,' with a love of "The Lord of the Rings" - all of which have nothing to do with being transgender. "I'm lucky that I can practice law and advocate for the transgender community and use my skillset and make this part of my career, but it is just one facet of who I am," she said. "It's not all of me by any means." Published: Mon, Aug 08, 2016